Alchemy... from Effigy Press

Love Unscripted | Two Guys, One Girl, Zero Good Choices

Love triangles: that razor-thin line between heart-pounding drama and the literary equivalent of soggy toast. In our new episode, Tim & LeeAnna dig into why so many writers trip over plot holes, pace their story like a three-legged race, and expect readers to cheer for ‘Team Bland’ vs. ‘Team Blander.’ Spoiler: your audience deserves better. Let’s talk about how to actually make triangles burn with tension instead of collapsing into cliché.
As ever, Alchemy is ad-free, because who needs an ad for the next Netflix teen love triangle when you’re busy untangling your own?
Nadira Goffe’s article hereWriters’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Love Unscripted | Cupid’s Murder Evidence Board

Join Tim and LeeAnna as they contemplate your friend group: not so much a circle as a soap opera with bad lighting. One kiss, one breakup, and suddenly everyone’s starring in their own season finale. Plot twists pile up, alliances shift hourly, and Cupid’s arrows feel more like grenades. Welcome to ‘Cupid’s Murder Evidence Board.’
This podcast remains gloriously ad-free. No jingles, no discount codes, just us untangling the soap-opera mess you call a friend group. You’re welcome.
Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Love Unscripted | Not Your Troy, Not Your Heaven (part 2)

In this Alchemy episode, Tim & LeeAnna continue their dive into emotional turmoil with the second of two of Yeats’s most emotionally raw poems – He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven. Ah, the wreckage of unrequited love.
As with all our podcasts, this episode is ad-free – because our advertiser, a manufacturer of custom-made Cloths of Heaven, has sadly gone out of business. Enjoy.
He Dreams of the Cloths of Heaven by W. B. Yeats here Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Love Unscripted | Not Your Troy, Not Your Heaven (part 1)

What if the woman you love isn’t yours to save, to burn, or to beg? What if your dreams were never her destination?
In this Alchemy episode, Tim & LeeAnna dive into the first of two of Yeats’s most emotionally raw poems – No Second Troy and He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven – to explore the wreckage of unrequited love, the fine line between worship and resentment, and why offering your dreams might not be enough when she’s already burning down cities. Spoiler: this one’s gonna hurt in all the right ways.
As with all our podcasts, this episode is ad-free – because when you're unpacking Yeats, heartbreak, and the smoldering remains of emotional overinvestment, the last thing you need is an ad for window replacements. You're welcome.
Correction: when Tim spoke about the giant model of a shark or whale in the graveyard of the Cathedral in Limerick, it was in fact Londonderry. Apologies to both Limerick and Londonderry. He also managed to mispronounce W. B. Yeats' name around a thousand times.
No Second Troy by W. B. Yeats hereWriters’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Certified: Not A Mess

Dating’s chaotic. So what if there were… standards? Like actual, published, reviewable standards. In this episode, Tim launches his idea of a “Dating Passport” – complete with Contracts of Integrity for Men and Women. LeeAnna reacts to Tim’s “Contract for Women of Integrity,” with an eyebrow raised so high it leaves orbit, and accuses Tim (lightheartedly, we hope) of sailing dangerously close to being cancelled. What follows is a no-holds-barred takedown, rewrite, and reimagination of what it would mean to be a Certified Human in the Dating Universe. Spoiler: gendered assumptions are out, and universal decency is in. It’s fun, it’s sincere, and it might actually make dating better – or maybe just even more complicated.
Alchemy is proudly ad-free, which means no awkward segues into sales pitches for trash you find out you didn’t need only when it’s arrived on your doorstep – yup, hold the promo code.
 Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5P

Love Unscripted | Love on a High Horse (part 2)

So, you’ve tried navigating the dating landscape, but it still feels like trudging through a swamp while balancing on a high horse? Welcome back, where Tim & LeeAnna continue the love saga in the land of lukewarm puddles and underwhelming options. In this second part of “Love on a High Horse” the duo dives even deeper into the frustrations of modern romance—where expectations are sky-high, but the emotional rewards barely make it off the ground. Get ready for dramatic readings that'll make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even question your own dating choices. If you’ve ever thought, “Why bother?” in the world of modern love, this episode might just be the nudge you need. Tune in, because we’re still asking—what happens when love’s effort-to-reward ratio really doesn’t add up?
Still ad-free. Because your journey through love’s highs and lows shouldn’t be interrupted by a pitch for a meal kit you’ll never use.
Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Love Unscripted | Love on a High Horse (part 1)

When the dating pool feels more like a lukewarm puddle, and the effort-to-reward ratio just doesn’t add up... you might be dating from a high horse. In this episode, Tim & LeeAnna wade into the frustrations of modern romance – where expectations soar, options underwhelm, and no one’s driving 30 miles for emotional fast food. Tim also unveils his Seven Concentric Citadel Walls™ – a noble (and possibly overbuilt) model of how we let people in, one wall at a time.
From “do I even want to be around you?” to “can I introduce you to my friends” to “er, can I take off my pants?” – it’s a journey. Get ready for some tough truths, nervous laughter, and the eternal question: Are they really worth the Uber fare?
Alchemy is still ad-free. Because your emotional epiphanies shouldn’t be brought to you by discount mattresses.
Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Love Unscripted | Be My Baby (part 2)

In part 2 of "Love Unscripted | Be My Baby“ Tim and LeeAnna are back with more power dynamics, manipulation, and control – plus a dramatic reading from the fictional James and Alice that seems to be kinda weirdly controlling. Or is it? Why does Alice need to dress up as a cheerleader for James’ Superbowl party?
Alchemy is ad free, as usual, But… you do need to know that the Alchemy Human Puppets we advertised last week are running short due to popular demand. It’s the hot new product for just $99.99! Turn your partner into your very own obedient puppet.
Read The Snark’s review of this podcast here.Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

Love Unscripted | Be My Baby (part 1)

Power dynamics, manipulation, and control - oh my! This week (and next), Tim and LeeAnna plow through the ugly, messy reality of how control plays out in relationships. The subtle, often unnoticed ways people - mostly men - bend their partners to their will without even realizing it. In "Love Unscripted | Be My Baby", they explore the fine line between caring and controlling, uncovering uncomfortable truths behind emotional manipulation. From unspoken expectations to gaslighting and the classic pity play, they break down the tactics that shape toxic relationship dynamics. And yes, they even debate whether buying matching nightdresses for your daughters is just sweet tradition... or something more insidious. Writers, take note: This episode is a gold mine for creating emotionally complex characters and relationships. Want to write tension that makes your readers squirm? This is your playbook. Tune in and prepare to think very differently about love, power, and control.
Alchemy is ad free, as usual, But… if we were selling something, it’d probably be Alchemy Human Puppets  - the new product for just $99.99! Turn your partner into your very own obedient puppet (because who needs a healthy relationship, right?) No more fighting over who controls the remote or making life decisions - just a few gentle pulls on the strings and bam, total compliance. Get yours now, before we get canceled.
The Kurt Vonnegut video on the ‘Shapes of Stories’ on YouTube here.
The Snark’s review of this podcast will be published after part 2 is recorded and published; same with writers’ prompts for the podcast.
Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A  

AI Takeover

Ever wondered if AI could replace podcasters? Well, Tim and LeeAnna sure did... and the results are hilariously weird. In this podcast-within-a-podcast an AI-cloned Tim & an AI-cloned LeeAnna discuss a humorous post written by The Snark on AI-podcasting, and the real Tim takes us through the process of building this AI-podcast and his impressions of the peculiar results.
We’re Ad-Free, But Here’s One You Won’t Want to Miss - Introducing the newest culinary masterpiece: Frozen Mac 'n' Cheese with a Peanut Butter Layer. Because who wouldn’t want to add a dollop of unexpected joy to their dinner? Forget all those bland, predictable meals - this one’s a game-changer. It’s bold. It’s brave. It’s... definitely questionable. Why settle for ordinary when you can have gourmet?
Read The Snark’s blog that is the basis for the AI portion of the podcast here.Read The Snark’s review of this podcast here.Writers’ prompts for this podcast are here.Submission page for Effigy Press here.Effigy Press here.
Intro music: brighter days by Oliver Massa - License code: S4QNBRVN0S5MTNW4https://uppbeat.io/t/oliver-massa/brighter-daysOutro music: nightdrive by mood-maze - License code: OGGKCMVJLUMOBW5Phttps://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/nightdrive. Or, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NZsJWoGZ9A